A few things about turning 30

Happy Birthday to Meeeeeee!!

I don't know what happened, but all of a sudden I had a mini-meltdown (pre mid-life crisis, if you will) right before the big 3-0. I think I started thinking too much...that always seems to get me in trouble. After much guidance from Todd, my parents, and of course, much prayer and discussion with the Lord, I think I am back on track and I am happy to "bring on" thirty. Here are a few things I have been "thinking" too much about in regards to my milestone birthday.

1. Apparently, I am older than 42% of Americans.  Super.

I love this picture of my momma and me.

2. I hate it when people say, "Thirty is the new twenty." Why do we lie to each other? I find it similar to the same lie we tell each other when a bird craps on someone and everyone replies, "That's good luck!" WHAT?!?!?! A bird just took a dump on you, how in the world can that be good luck (should I remind you that you have fecal matter on you)? Sounds like bad luck to me!!!  Please no lies, just the truth in my thirties. Thanks.

3. 90% of a woman's eggs are gone by age 30. Awesome.

Nothing like scrapping from the bottom of the barrel when it comes to your offspring. I feel like my ovaries and I have this conversation every month:

Ovaries: "Ok, I have a few eggs for you to select from. The first one, egg 'A', it's going to grow up and hate you, Todd, and life general. It's going to be a real pain in the "ace" raising, complete menace to society, but I think it will have pretty eyes."

"Egg 'B' is a real lazy SOB, complete mooch. Gonna live off of you as long as possible, and blame all of their problems on everyone else. But deep down a real sweetheart."

"And I have this egg over here, now it's a complete wild card, could be OK or could be a complete mess. Can't really tell right now. Soooo, which one do you want me to send down the fallopian tube chute?"

Me: "When is the deadline to place my order?"

This picture makes me feel really old. Maybe it's because of the 60s decor in the background??
But, seriously...why don't I have pants on?

4. My metabolism decided to retire a few years ago. I think I heard she is on some beach in Costa Rica. Swell.

This girl is a traitor...I don't know when or where she left me.

5. I swear, the first sign of a gray hair and I am making an appointment with a shrink!

Looks like we are at a piano shop?

6. Sadly, I believe I have more in common with 40 year olds than 20 year olds. Real bills to pay, full-time job, actual responsibilities, worrying about retirement, I enjoy thinking about what my next meal will be, and I am tired by about 7 p.m.

Again, with the no pants. I see a reoccurring theme.

7.  I read somewhere that the strength of your bones is determined by how much calcium you consumed before the age of 18 (bone density peaking at age 30-35). If that is the case, I expect to have full blown osteoporosis by 32.

8. Botox and Spanx are going to be my new best friends this decade.

9.  Apparently, getting older means you can't sleep-in past 9 a.m. I think there is some biological wiring against it. When did this happen?

10. But, in all honestly I am actually looking forward to my thirties!!! As Todd said, "many changes are coming this decade." I remain hopeful!! Stay tuned, we've only just begun.  :)

One-day-old hospital picture. I still play with my ears when I am nervous.